How Therapists Should Respond When Clients Pull Away

Therapy gives a person a chance to be open about who they truly are. It allows them to show the side of themselves they wish others could see. In this space, they can speak their thoughts freely, even those that constantly fill their minds. Trust and honest communication are necessary to build a good connection between the therapist and the client.

That’s why keeping things private and avoiding judgment are at the heart of every therapy session. Both the client and the therapist have to put in time and effort to make it work.

When a Client Stops Attending Therapy

Helping a client through therapy brings many experiences, uncertainties, and sometimes hurdles. Whether you are new to the field with a psychology degree or have years of experience in counseling, you might still wonder if you’re doing things the right way. Self-doubt can be a constant presence. Some common problems for both clients and therapists are resistance, money issues, irregular attendance, ethical questions, lack of trust, emotional strain, and more.

From my own sessions and what I’ve heard from colleagues, I believe one of the toughest moments in therapy is when a client decides to stop without any clear reason. Some clients might tell you what went wrong, while others may not respond at all. It becomes hard to understand the actual cause. The increase in online therapy has made it easier for people to miss sessions without notice.

Even though this isn’t the worst situation, it can trigger feelings of not being good enough in a therapist. Clients stepping away from therapy happens more often than expected. There are many possible reasons like negative ideas around therapy, cost, doubts about its usefulness, and many personal worries and questions.

How to Respond When a Client Withdraws

1. Assess the Situation

To start with, the therapist can look into the possible reasons behind the withdrawal. Maybe the connection with the client didn’t build well, or the person may not feel comfortable or satisfied with the sessions. Before thinking it's your fault as a therapist, check if outside factors like financial stress or lack of privacy might have played a role. In such cases, a foundation of support and understanding is very important.

2. Stay in Touch

Next, keeping communication open can make a difference. If the client stops replying or avoids contact, try sending a message using their preferred platform just to check in. A simple gesture like this can show them that they matter. Being kind and free of judgment is part of our role as therapists. If they feel that the space is real and secure, they may begin to talk about what caused the change.

3. Work Together with the Client

You and the client can try to understand what led to them stepping away. Ask them to share their thoughts, doubts, or anything else they’re facing. If they are unsure, let them take their time to process and speak. Use a tone that’s open and interesting. Gentle, open questions asked with kindness can help a lot. Respecting their timing and choices can help build the trust that may have been missing before.

4. Offer Other Options

Other support methods can also be explored. The aim of therapy is to help the client feel better in their life. If therapy is creating stress instead of helping, consider alternatives that may work better. Pointing them toward helpful resources for now could give them relief. If traditional therapy feels limiting, they might prefer something like art therapy, using animals, or play therapy.

5. Create Room for Dialogue

Giving space for open talks can help. Let the client speak about their decision to pause or stop therapy through questions that invite discussion. This can help them reflect on their choice and maybe even suggest a new way to move forward. It also gives both sides a chance to understand what didn’t go well and where to go next.

6. Look Inward and Seek Support

Don’t take a client’s withdrawal as a personal failure. Instead, look at how you’re feeling and consider speaking with a colleague or supervisor. A fresh viewpoint might help uncover better ways to support the client. It can also give a broader picture of what might have caused the client to leave therapy.

7. End the Sessions If Needed

Sometimes, despite trying everything, things just don’t work out. If so, it may be time to end the therapeutic relationship. Accepting this outcome is important for both sides. You can offer referrals or suggest another therapist they might be more comfortable with. What matters is helping the client find the support they need, even if it’s not with you.

8. Respect the Client’s Choice

Lastly, it’s important to accept the client’s decision, no matter what. Giving them control over their own choices is part of what therapy should offer. You can let them know that they are welcome to return if they choose to. This small message can make them feel respected and might lead them back to therapy when they are ready.

To put it all together, what matters most during a client’s withdrawal is having trust, clear communication, a welcoming space to talk, and respect for their decision. Whether you’re the therapist or the client, the goal is to feel better – and that happens in one’s own time and way.

A Practical Example of Therapeutic Rupture 

Let’s take the example of a 32-year-old named Rachel who is struggling with stress at work — long hours, difficult coworkers, and a draining environment. She starts therapy hoping it will help. But after just two sessions, Rachel suddenly stops replying and misses her appointments. As her therapist, this brings up an important point in the relationship that needs thoughtful handling.

In Rachel’s situation, the therapist sends a gentle and caring email to check in.

“Hi Rachel, I noticed we haven’t had our recent sessions. I hope you’re doing okay. I just wanted to see if you might be open to having a conversation about this. If anything has changed in your schedule or if you have any doubts about continuing, I’m here to listen with an open mind. Feel free to reach out whenever you’re ready. Take care.”

This message shows concern and leaves the door open. It creates space for Rachel to return without pressure. The therapist avoids guessing or reacting emotionally, instead keeping the focus on Rachel’s comfort and needs.

If Rachel doesn’t respond, the therapist can:

·       Review the earlier sessions to see if anything seemed uncomfortable.

·       Ask a supervisor for guidance or another opinion.

·       Accept Rachel’s choice and stop further contact if there’s still no reply.

This case shows that when a client steps away, it doesn’t mean the process has failed. It can be a time for understanding, learning, and thinking deeply for both therapist and client. By staying professional and supportive, therapists can deal with these moments with kindness and care.

Therapy is something built by both people involved – sometimes that means pauses or changes. What remains important is to keep the values of trust, respect, and care for the client’s well-being in mind.

Mental Health Notes with SOAPsuds AI Medical Scribe 

If you're a mental health professional searching for a faster, easier way to handle your mental health notes, therapy notes, or detailed progress notes, SOAPsuds AI Medical Scribe is the solution built with your needs in mind. Designed to simplify clinical documentation, SOAPsuds uses advanced AI technology to help therapists focus more on patient care and less on typing and administrative tasks. With just a few clicks or a voice command, you can generate structured, compliant, and high-quality notes that align with your existing workflow—whether you're in private practice or part of a larger behavioral health clinic.

Security is a top priority at SOAPsuds. Every note you create is backed by industry-standard encryption and HIPAA-compliant protocols to ensure patient information remains private and protected. You can document freely without second-guessing your platform’s security—because we’ve taken care of that for you. Affordability is just as important, and SOAPsuds offers flexible pricing options that suit solo therapists, growing practices, and clinics of all sizes. There are no hidden fees—just straightforward plans that give you access to powerful documentation tools and regular product improvements. Try SOAPsuds for free!